Thanks for this humorous comparison of Old Time and Bluegrass Music from:
Pete’s
Word http://bluegrasswest.com/wordpress/ Old Time and Bluegrass Music My New Mexico friends Bruce Thompson and Wayne Shrubsall recently conducted a workshop dealing with string band music and the differences between old time and bluegrass music. They’ve given me permission to share their notes from this event, which are hereby posted for your edification. The Difference Between Bluegrass and
Old Time Music, by BANJO: FIDDLE: GUITAR: OT guitarists can sometimes pick the melody. BG guitarists avoid the melody at all costs and only improvise around the tune. MANDOLIN: BG mandolin players use “F” model Gibsons that cost $100 per decibel, therefore averaging around $12,000 ea. BASS: An OT bass is often used as yard furniture. A BG bass player holds up his bass. An OT bass holds up the player. OTHER INSTRUMENTS INSTRUMENTATION: THE MUSIC: PERSONALITIES & STAGE PRESENCE: FESTIVALS:
|
JOKES ABOUT OUR FAVORITE STRINGED INSTRUMENTS FIDDLE: What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? A fiddle is fun to listen to. What's another difference between a fiddle and a violin? No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle. What’s the difference between a Bluegrass fiddle and and Old Timey fiddle? The Bluegrass fiddle burns hotter; the OT Fiddle longer. How do you tell the difference between a fiddler and a dog? The dog knows when to stop scratching. How can you tell when a fiddle is out of tune? The fiddler’s fingers are moving. How many fiddler’s does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't get up that high! BANJO: What's the difference between a banjo and a chain saw? The chain saw has greater dynamic range. What's the least-used sentence in the English language? "Isn't that the banjo player's Porsche?" What do you say to a banjo player in a three-piece suit? "Will the defendant please rise?" What does it mean when the banjo player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth? The stage is level. What to you call it when someone can throw a banjo 20 yards into a dumpster without hitting the sides? Perfect pitch.
There's nothing I like better than the sound of a banjo, unless of course it's the sound of a chicken caught in a vacuum cleaner. GUITAR: How do you get two guitarists to play in unison? Shoot one. Whats the easiest way to get a guitarist to quit playing? Put a sheet of music in front of him. What’s the difference in a pepperoni pizza and an Old Timey guitarist? The pizza can feed a family of four. What is the definition of an optimist? A guitarist with a mortgage. How do you improve the aerodynamics of a guitarist’s car? Remove the Dominos sign. How many flatpickers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five: one to screw it in, and four to complain that it’s electric. What would a guitarist do if he won a million dollars? Continue to play gigs until the money ran out. What's the difference between a guitarist and a mutual fund? The mutual fund eventually matures and earns money. What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless. What do you call a guitar player without a lawnmower? Unemployed. HAMMER DULCIMER If you drop a hammer dulcimer and a set of bagpipes off a 20 story building, which lands first? Who cares? What do you call 100 hammer dulcimers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start. What’s a hammer dulcimer good for besides slicing cheese? Kindling for a banjo fire. What's the difference between an lap dulcimer and a hammered dulcimer? A hammered dulcimer burns hotter; an Appalachian dulcimer burns longer. MANDOLIN: Why does a mandolin have eight strings? To double the chances that one of them will be in tune.
How many Mando-Players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 10---One to screw it in, 9 to say "I could do it faster" What is the difference between a dead mandolin player and a dead possum in the middle of the road? The possum was on his way to a gig. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? A mandolin player. What''s the difference between a dead skunk and a dead mandolin player? Skid marks in front of the skunk. A guitar player and a mandolin player both slip and fall off a high cliff. Which one will hit the ground first? The guitarist. The mando player had to stop and tune up half-way. MUSICIANS: How do you become a millionaire playing Old Time Music? Start
with $3 million and keep on playing til you reach $1 million, then stop playing. A Bluegrass Musician was told by his doctor, "I am very sorry to tell you that you have cancer and you have only one more year to live." The Bluegrass Musician replied, "And just what do you expect me to live on for an entire year!?!" Ever wonder why anyone would want to be an Old Time Musician when they grow up? Check out this link and you might get a chuckle:
|
